bad personTo those of you that read this blog please don't hate me.
I have done terrible things. I am not a good person at all, I have hurt a person that i care for and love very much. I don't have any real reason to not continue living with him, I just feel that perhaps I am not the one for him. I won't get into much more detail and if he is reading this I AM SORRY and I AM WORKING ON IT!!! I want to come back home very soon. I have along with much of the human population a hard life. My mom was the only other person in my life that i could count on that never made me feel bad about myself, she loved me for who I am and even when I was the biggest b*tch in the world she still loved me. Then she passed away and my life got worse, I lacked something inside. I didn't know what it was, perhaps love? acceptance? Not sure!!! Then I found my way out to Kansas found a job and then i got moved to a different team. There was this guy on my team who I didn't like at first. After a while we started dating and he showed me what I had been lacking in my life. He showed me alot about myself that I had forgotten. Things that only my mom had showed me. He has done nothing but be the sweetest,nicest, most loving person I know. I was mean to him tonight and I moved away to find answers that have been looking back at me for a while now. I know that the answers are there, I just need to work at getting to those.
I WILL be back very soon!!!!!
You give and take equally in relationships.
You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.
new relationships
!!!! Have a good day everyone!Well, it's Monday again (BOOOOOOOOOOOO) This weekend was wonderful. Friday night, Shaun and I had our friend over and I cooked dinner. We played a game and had a great time. Then Saturday, it was heater's family birthday. Shaun had a suprise for me but wouldn't tell me what is was. After leaving his mom's house he took me to drive around a look at Christmas lights. . That was something I used to do as a kid, it was special that he remembered and wanted to take me. My relationship with that man has changed me for the best. I have always thought that there is a healer and leader in a relationship. I am his healer and he is my guide. Shaun has shown me a whole new me, that I didn't even know I had. And for that I will always be greatful. I LOVE YOU SHAUN PAUL ALEXANDR BELL 
